Ok so I'm going to be doing a bit of a life update today, I enjoy doing these because it's like my own little diary but a diary that other people can read and comment on ☺
So my anxiety and depression has been really bad and it honestly affects so much of my life! I hate it. I saw these words on Facebook and it literally describes my life
Well my doctor gave me a counselors number like last year and I wasn't brave enough to ring it and I was too anxious until a couple of weeks ago I finally just said what the heck and rung the number. My depression and anxiety has been so terribly bad and I am not going to go into too many details but I have just been at a really low point so I really felt like I needed help so I rung the counselor.
They referred me or whatever and I had my first meeting on Tuesday 24th. I was quite nervous because it was a group meeting, I didn't want a group meeting I wanted a 1 to 1 where I can just talk to someone about my problems and they can really listen to me and give me advice, because in the group session I am just going to be like a number to them and they are not going to know my personal problems and they are just going to do presentations and give out handouts so I don't see how that will help with my severe mental problems, but I'm trying to remain positive and have faith because I really need something to help me try to cope with my issues.
They referred me or whatever and I had my first meeting on Tuesday 24th. I was quite nervous because it was a group meeting, I didn't want a group meeting I wanted a 1 to 1 where I can just talk to someone about my problems and they can really listen to me and give me advice, because in the group session I am just going to be like a number to them and they are not going to know my personal problems and they are just going to do presentations and give out handouts so I don't see how that will help with my severe mental problems, but I'm trying to remain positive and have faith because I really need something to help me try to cope with my issues.
If you want to know how my meeting went then I talk about it in my new get ready with me video on YouTube, that will be going up next Tuesday. Because I don't want to bore you and write it all down now because this blog post will turn into like a super looong essay and no one will read it!
I'm still on the job hunt and that adds to my depression because I'm stuck at home everyday with nothing to do because I don't have a job so I don't get out my house and then I have absolutely no money to do anything which depresses you even more
All that aside I'm still trying my hardest to remain positive and not give up. Blogging and YouTube has really helped distract me and give me something to do and focus on I love it so much ♥
And reading comments from such lovely people on both my blog and YouTube honestly makes my day because I don't often get nice comments said to me in my personal life so to hear such nice things from people on the Internet that I haven't even met really makes me happy ☺
Another thing I've been doing recently is exercising alot and I am working so hard on losing weight because I weighed myself recently and I weigh alot more than what I thought, obviously I'm not going to say how much I weigh but maybe one day when I have lost alot of weight I can say how much I weighed and compare it and do like a weight loss transformation!
I am happy with my body and don't hate myself like I use to (if you read my love yourself post you will know what I mean) I'm happy and content with myself and my body the only reason I want to lose weight is so I can be fitter and healthier because at the minute I am unhealthy and over weight and obviously if something is affecting my health in a negative way then I want to change that:)
So I have been eating much healthier and exercising 3 or 4 times a week and just trying to be more active, I weighed myself about a month ago so I think I might weigh myself again in a few days so I am hoping I have lost a little bit of weight even if its just a pound or 2 then I will be happy, so wish me luck ☺
UPDATE: I weighed myself on Monday and I lost 8lbs!! I was soo happy! I was so scared to weigh myself because I thought I wasn't going to lose any weight and all that hard work would be for nothing but I actually lost over half a stone in a month! I was so proud and happy :D
Now I just need to keep working hard to lose more weight until I am alot more fit and healthy :)
I hope you didn't mind this more of a personal post I just like to vent and talk about things because I don't often talk about these things to people in my real life so its nice to have somewhere where I can be myself and chat to other people possibly in the same situation!
So thankyou so much for reading I hope you have an amazing day!
Remember to always stay positive no matter what!
Love you all :)
Love Megan Rose ♥
